


206 Days with Brian Zeller-Price

by thenerdyantelope



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Car Accidents, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-02
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-03 05:12:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 13,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1732421
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thenerdyantelope/pseuds/thenerdyantelope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jimmy and Brian Zeller-Price have got into a car accident. Unlike Brian, Jimmy walked away concious. With his husband comatose, Jimmy has to spend the next 206 days with just memories and visits to his husband to pull him through.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to [Abbi](http://willgrahamed.tumblr.com/) and [Roxanne](http://thisjabroni.tumblr.com/) for helping with the background info for the family and generally being amazing!

**Day 1: 14 th November**

“Jimmy we’re going to be late!”  Brian called up the stairs. They’d been invited out to a party for Brian’s sister’s engagement with most of Brian’s extended family and friends, all of whom were sticklers for timing.

“I’m just coming give me a second!” Jimmy called back. Brian rolled his eyes at his husband, knowing that Jimmy was probably looking for something irrelevant, or alternatively Brian had already got.

Jimmy thunked down the stairs, pulling his blazer on, “Have you seen the car keys?” He asked, patting his pockets again to check he wasn’t being stupid.

Brian laughed, “I’ve got them here.” He said, throwing them to Jimmy.

“You are like a magpie, stealing my shiny objects.” Jimmy told him, petting Locard before opening the front door and walking out to the car.

“That doesn’t even make sense?”

Jimmy stared at him, slightly offended, “Yes it does.”

Brian smirked, “Whatever you say Jimbles.” He knew Jimmy hated it when he called him that, and was expecting the playful shove he received from his husband.

“You’re mean.” He mumbled.

“I know.” Brian leaned down and pecked Jimmy on the lips, before getting into the passenger seat of the car. Jimmy had insisted on driving there so he could use the argument that he drove when he was highly intoxicated later that night. Not that Jimmy knew that Brian knew that. Or that Jimmy had used that trick five times in the last four months.

Jimmy pulled out of their driveway as Brian stuck an Arctic Monkeys CD in, turning it up full volume and starting to sing along to _Brianstorm_ bouncing along to it in his seat. Jimmy sighed, as much as he adored his husband; he was still convinced that Brian only liked the stupid cheesy rock band because they had a song with his name in it. Though as much as he preferred other music, being able to see Brian so happy in his own little bubble was always a sight Jimmy enjoyed.

As the song reached the guitar solo, Jimmy caught a glimpse of Brian himself performing it through the use of air guitar and giggled, “You’re such a dork.” He told him affectionately.

Brian froze, he’d lost himself in the music and had completely forgotten that Jimmy could see him-it was only when Brian was drunk that he’d ever start dancing in front of Jimmy, even though Jimmy had caught him grooving it up in the kitchen by himself while cooking countless times.

The tips of his ears went pink, “Eyes on the road Price.” He muttered.

Jimmy did just that, but even with his eyes on the road he couldn’t avoid what happened next.

“JIMMY SWERVE!” Brian screamed. Jimmy glanced round just in time to see the lorry barrelling towards the side of the car.

The next ten seconds seemed to pass in slow motion. The lorry smashed into the passenger seat side of the car, sending them flying across the road. They somersaulted twice before landing, the car smashing round a tree.

Jimmy came round to the sound of sirens, panic setting in as he felt wetness on his face and a sharp pain in his chest. He glanced down and saw glass sticking out of arm. He started shaking as he looked over to Brian, his stomach dropping as he saw his husband. Brian was crushed underneath the car door, covered glass and his own blood. He lay lifeless, his face pale, his eyes closed as blood trickled out his mouth. Jimmy stared, his breathing increasing, ignoring the pain in his body, he reached out to try and touch Brian.

“Brian c’mon.” He mumbled hoarsely, sobs building up in his chest, his hand trembling as he tried to check Brian’s pulse. He tried to lean forwards to reach Brian’s write but yelped with pain as the glass shifted in his arms and what felt like broken ribs jostling in his torso. The sobs came pouring out at that point, his breathing stuttered as he began screaming with panic. “ _Please don’t be dead, please don’t be dead.”_

*****

Jimmy sat in the bed, waiting for Bev to arrive. He had no idea where or how Brian was. The last time he’d seen him, he himself was being pulled from the wreckage, and even then his tears had blurred the view of his battered husband. He winced as he reached out for his phone, his two broken ribs causing pain to shoot through his chest. He checked his phone, finding a text from Brian’s sister asking where they were. _Crap._ He decided he’d call her back later as Bev entered. Her eyes wide with worry a she rushed to his bedside.

“Jesus Christ Jimmy, are you okay?!” She asked shocked at the sight of her friend. She stared at his arm in plaster. And his face, the grotesque cuts and stitches made him look like something she could have been examining for a case.

“Okay enough. Have you heard anything about Brian?” Jimmy asked hopefully. It terrified him not knowing how his husband was. The nurse had been incredibly vague when he’d asked him which did nothing but increase his worry.

Bev frowned, “I asked, but they told me he was still in theatre,” She took his unplastered hand gently; “He’ll be alright Jim.” She said softly, praying that she was right. Jimmy’s face fell when he heard her news. He attempted a half smile but knew Bev wouldn’t believe him. They sat silently, their intense worry filled the room, both of the jumping out of their skin when the door opened.

“Mr Zeller-Price?” The nurse said gently, his face sympathetic.

“Yes?” Jimmy asked desperately, clinging to Bev’s hand. He could tell already from the nurses’ face that the news wasn’t going to be good. But he hoped it would be better than his fears.

“Your husband is out of theatre. He’s unfortunately slipped into a coma; however we’re 98% certain that he will wake up. And although he may experience some memory loss and some other side effects, he should be in perfect health.” The nurse reported.

Jimmy’s heart fell. Brian was in a _coma_. He sunk into the bed ignoring the pulsing pain that was flooding his body, “How long until he wakes up?” He asked quietly, his voice almost emotionless as he held back tears.

“We can’t be sure. It could be a week, it could be a year. But of course you’re welcome to visit him anytime and we will call you as soon as he does wake up. I’m so sorry. I’ll leave you alone.” The nurse gave a small smile before leaving.

Bev sighed shakily, “Jimmy I’m so sorry.” She said, watching him carefully.

Jimmy shook, tears tugged at his eyes as he tried to answer Bev, unable to form any words in his mouth. _Up to a year_. Jimmy could barely go a few hours without talking to Brian, let alone an entire year. Beverly stood and gently put her arms around him, hugging him as tightly as she could without hurting him, “It’ll be okay Pricey.” She whispered, trying to hold back her own tears.

The only noise that Jimmy could muster was a mumble of unconvinced agreement. He was in shock, the shock of the crash itself hadn’t worn off let alone the shock of hearing that he might not be able to interact with his husband for _an entire year._ He pulled away from Bev, trying to pull himself together.

“I need to see him.” He uttered out, the pain evident in his voice. He could at least cement the fact that Brian was alive in his head, if he wasn’t able to do anything else.

Bev nodded, “Are you okay to walk?” She wanted to see Brian too. She’d been terrified ever since she’d got the incoherent, tear filled call from Jimmy that they were at the hospital and that her best friend might have died.

“I think so.” Jimmy said, slowly getting out of the bed, his entire body screaming in pain as a signal for him to stop moving. He fought through it, Brian was more important.

They made their way to Brian’s ward slowly, Jimmy barely able to move properly due to the amount of injuries he’d sustained. Bev kept offering him a wheelchair but he refused, he wanted to get to Brian as quickly as he could, he couldn’t afford to stop.

Bev gasped as Jimmy’s heart broke when they saw him. Brian lay on the bed, writes protruding from his hands and wrists, long thin cuts and stitches littered his face and arms. Bruises crept up his neck the deep blues and purples contrasting with his incredible pale face. He was completely still other than the light movement of his chest. Completely silent other than the beep of his heart monitor. Jimmy sat next to him, carefully taking his hand, caressing it lightly with his thumb as he stared at his husbands face. The horror began to seep in as it registered just how mauled Brian looked. How Jimmy couldn’t see the injury under the covers and didn’t know if he _wanted_ to. The image of Brian stuck in the car flashed through his mind again, causing him to shrink back into himself. He kept his eyes on Brian’s face, focusing on the steady beeps of his heart monitor, the sounds of his husband still alive.

His phone bleeped in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out, it was Brian’s sister. “ _Fuck.”_ He said under his breath.

“Who is it?” Beverly asked, concerned by Jimmy’s reaction.

“Rosie...Brian’s sister. We were going to this um, family thing of his. Amy’s got engaged to her girlfriend.” Jimmy was suddenly hit with how quickly this had all happened. He looked at the time on the ringing phone; just two hours ago they’d been happily on their way to Brian’s family gathering and now Jimmy could barely think through his pain and Brian was in a fucking _coma._

He accepted the call, hesitantly putting the phone to his ear, his eyes returning to Brian’s face, “Hey Rosie.” He said, his voice small.

“Jimmy! Are you and Brian okay?! Bri said you’d be here over an hour ago and he’s not picking up his phone? Did he break it again or something...That’d be very like him.” She said teasingly on the other end of the phone, her voice chirpy, making the task ahead of Jimmy even more difficult.

Jimmy could hear people in the background and figured that Rosie probably should not be around people before she heard the news of her younger brother, “Um. Rose, can you step outside for a minute, I need to talk to you.”

Rosie sounded confused, “Um. Sure,” the sounds of her shuffling outside were apparent, “What’s up?”

Jimmy swallowed shakily, “We err...We got hit by a lorry And Brian,” His voice cracked, “Brian’s in a coma.” It was the first time he’d said the words out loud; a tear fell down his cheek. Beverly put her hands over her face before leaving the ward; Jimmy heard a faint sob as she turned the corner.

“Oh.” Rosie’s voice was filled with heartbreak at the end of the line.

“I-I know.”

He heard Rosie sniff slightly, “I um, I should tell Amy and Carlie,” She paused, “And Mom and Dad _fuck_.” She mumbled.

Jimmy’s heart shattered again, he loved Brian’s family, and felt awful for having to deliver such terrible news, especially during Amy’s engagement party, “I can...I can do it if you want, I’ll call your Mom and tell her.” He didn’t want to put any pressure on Rosie, knowing how devastated the rest of the family would be.

“No. It’s okay. Are _you_ okay?” She asked, sounding genuinely concerned about her brother-in-laws welfare despite the news she’d just received.

“Um. I’ve felt better.” He said, shuffling slightly and regretting it instantly when sharp pain shot through his ribs.

“Mmmkay. I guess-I guess I should go and tell Mom. Keep us updated please?” She begged, tears obvious in her voice.

“Course. You guys’ll be first to know when I find things out.” He promised.

“Kay. Thanks Jim. I’ll err, I’ll text later. Bye.” Rosie’s voice sounded incredibly broken as she hung up. Jimmy trembled, before texting Bev quickly to find out where she was, wanting to hug her and for her to hug him. He felt exhausted, the pain, the shock and the heartbreak were all too much. He wanted nothing more than for Brian to wake up and them to go home together. Recover together. He wanted it to all be just a dream.

*****

Jimmy and Bev had been sent home when visiting hours had closed. Bev had to prise Jimmy’s hand from Brian’s to get him to let go. They’d driven home in silence, Jimmy under strict instructions to get some sleep and take the painkillers he was given. Bev ordered the pair of them pizza which ended up in the fridge and they both sat on the sofa. Their exchanges since earlier had been fleeting, finally Bev sighed.

“I’ve got to go home Jim, I need to feed Austen.” She said gently. Locard’s head raised off her lap at the mention of Bev’s cat Austen, who Locard had met once and been incredibly unimpressed by.

Jimmy gave her a half-hearted smile, “It’s okay. I was um. Gonna try and sleep soon anyway.”  

Bev frowned, “Call me if you need me.” She told him sternly, she could tell that Jimmy was at breaking point and needed space, but she also needed to make sure the minute he was out of his depth that he called her.

“Always do.” He gave her another unconvincing smile.

“Alright. I’ll be back round tomorrow okay?” She hugged him quickly and kissed his cheek, “Catcha later Pricey.”

He called goodbye as she let herself out.

Locard went and planted his head on Jimmy’s lap, Jimmy fussing him gently. He sank into himself, letting the pain encompass him now Bev had gone. His arms and ribs had been throbbing since the accident and from what the doctor had said it wasn’t going to end anytime soon. He heaved himself up, Locard whining quietly at him, and grabbed the pills he was meant to take, dry swallowing them before turning the TV off and plodding upstairs, Locard on his heels. He peeled off his shirt and trousers slowly, trying not to jostle too much even with his arm in plaster. He hoped getting under the duvet would provide some form of comfort. But when he was hit with the smell of his husband he realised he was so very wrong.

Jimmy teared up, the sobs that had been threatening to burst out of him all day suddenly came crawling up his throat as he pulled Brian’s pillow towards him. He wept into the pillow, the crash playing over and over again in his head realising that if he hadn’t been going that 5mph over the speed limit. If he’d fucking swerved when Brian told him to. They might never have even been _hit_ by the lorry. His guilt consumed him as he bawled into the pillow noisily. Locard hopped up into the bed and started licking his hands in an attempt to comfort him.

“Fuck off Locard!” Jimmy shouted at him hoarsely. Locard stared at Jimmy then shuffled off the bed with a small whine, laying down by the door with a huff.

Jimmy continued to sob into the pillow until his throat was dry, his head cloudy and there were no more tears to shed. He sat up slowly, wiping his eyes and hugging the pillow tightly with his good arm. He looked over to Locard with self-condemnation. “I’m sorry pup,” He said, beckoning him over, and started reassuring him that everything was okay, “I wasn’t shouting at you,” He mumbled guiltily, “Not really anyway. Promise. Although you should learn to be more like your Miacis ancestors. Then you’d be much less scared. You’d also probably have eaten Austen as a kitten, but you’d be a lot less frightful.” He said, kissing the dogs nose gently before patting the space next to him, “C’mon. Sleep time.”

He slowly lowered himself back down, his breath hitching as he glanced across the empty bed. _I’ll see him tomorrow. He’ll wake up soon._ Jimmy lied to himself, just hoping that it eventually would be okay.

Unfortunately for Jimmy, it never would.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like I'm going to do this every chapter but thanks to [ Abbi](http://willgrahamed.tumblr.com) and [ Roxanne](http://thisjabroni.tumblr.com/) for the character help! And also to [ Spall](http://penfoldismrshrink.tumblr.com/) for sorting out some of the appalling grammar mistakes. (You guys are p. cool I guess)

** Day 2: 15th November **

Jimmy woke up in the morning, his entire body aching from head to toe. He glanced over to see Brian, only to have the shattering realisation that he wasn’t there. Memories of yesterday flooded back to him. He frowned and forced himself to not tear up again; today he was seeing Brian’s family. He had to look presentable.

Having taken painkillers and eaten a slice of cold pizza, Jimmy sat on the sofa, watching a documentary on the Kakapo to try and distract himself, as he waited for Brian’s younger sister Carlie to pick him up and take him to the hospital with her.

The doorbell rang and Locard yapped at it. “Shhh boy.” Jimmy told him, switching the TV off and going to the door, opening it to find Carlie stood before him.

She was shorter than Jimmy but not by much, her hair was pulled back into a messy bun (she’d been graced with her mother’s more manageable hair rather than her father’s curls which Brian had the pleasure of inheriting), and despite the copious amounts of makeup on her face her eyes were puffy and red; she had obviously been crying. She and Brian were the closest out of the four siblings, so it came as no surprise to Jimmy that she’s taken the news almost as hard as he had.

Carlie gasped when she saw Jimmy, “Shit Jim. Are you okay?!” She took in the horrific state of her brother-in-law, cursing the lorry driver who had hit them in her mind.

Jimmy shrugged then winced, “Um. Can I get back to you on that?”

“Course,” She pulled his keys off him and pressed a warm cup into his hand, “I bought you tea. It would have been coffee but I didn’t know what meds you were on and didn’t wanna fuck you up anymore than you’re already fucked.” She smiled weakly at him before turning towards her car.

Jimmy smiled back, “Thanks.” He was touched, the tea in his hand was the highlight of the past twenty four hours, and he couldn’t see there being another one for a while. He sipped it gratefully, she’d even added an extra sugar to try and make him feel better.

Once in the car, Carlie quickly turned off the Arctic Monkeys she’d had on full blast as soon as she saw Jimmy’s face fall at hearing it. “I think there’s some Mumford and Sons hidden at the back of the glove compartment if you’re able to reach it. If not we can just stick the radio on.” She told him. She hated the stupid folk band but knew that it was one of Jimmy’s favourites so always made sure she had it in the car for emergencies like this.

Jimmy considered leaning forward but his painkillers hadn’t fully kicked in and he knew it was a bad idea, “The radio’ll do.”

Trashy pop music blasted through the car, both of them grateful for the way it numbed their brains as they both let the music wash over them. They didn’t speak until they were pulling into the hospital.

 “Carlie...” Jimmy spoke up, “I need to warn you now um. Brian’s...Brian doesn’t _look_ good.” He told her gently, watching her reaction.

She pulled into a space and gulped, “I um-I didn’t think he would,” She replied, undoing her seatbelt and fumbling around in the backseat for her handbag, “But thanks for the heads up.” She smiled at him half-heartedly before pulling her handbag and herself out the car. Patiently waiting for Jimmy to haul himself out of the car. She hooked her arm around his when he reached her, trying not to drag him into the hospital.

“Do you want to wait for the others or-?” Jimmy asked, once they were outside the ward.

Carlie cut him off, “No...I um, I wanna go in now...If that’s okay?” She ran her hands through each other nervously-a trait her and Brian shared-staring at Jimmy with wide, innocent eyes that begged for him to take her through.

Jimmy nodded, “Want me to come with you?”

She responded by tightening her grip around his arm nervously, “Please.” She mumbled, her voice sounding like that of a small child’s.

He pulled her into the ward slowly, careful not to force her in. She gasped when she saw her brother, her entire body caving in on itself as she pulled away from Jimmy and sat next to him, “ _Fuck._ ” She whispered, and then continued to whisper expletives as she took in Brian’s broken state.

Jimmy frowned; the initial shock for him was gone, now he just had this gut wrenching want for Brian to wake up. He could see the heartbreak in Carlie’s eyes as she brushed her brother’s hand gently. Carlie had always been closest to Jimmy out of the three sisters, mainly because she knew just as many weird and wonderful animal facts as he himself did. They’d been convinced for a long time now that they were one day going to write an animal encyclopaedia together, and had discussed everything from the content to the colour scheme of the pages whilst on one of their frequent lunch dates. It crushed him to see her slowly getting more upset now. He went and sat next to her, wrapping his arm around her shoulders and hugging her gently, ignoring the pain radiating from his chest. She leaned into him, “They said he was okay though right? That he’d um...He’d wake up?” She asked, not taking her eyes off her brother for a second.

“Yeah. He’ll definitely wake up...At some point.” He hesitated to tell her the last part, knowing how much the information had hurt him.

Carlie shut her eyes, her breathing stopped for five seconds as she gulped, trying to hold back her tears. To Carlie, Brian had always been the sibling that was there for her. If she was ever in need of a hug, or a chat he’d always be at her door as soon as he could with ice cream and _Tangled_ , and they’d spend the evening eating, laughing and singing to the film. She thought about how much she could do with an evening like that right now.

“Okay...Well that’s something.” She muttered, vague optimism shining through.

*****

After Carlie had left, Brian’s parents had been in, but only briefly. Beth (his mother) had been too overwhelmed by it and rushed out, her husband following swiftly after her. Half an hour later and he had a short text from Dave explaining that they’d see him another time. He now sat alone with his husband, waiting for Amy and Rosie to arrive. He’d been promised a dinner with Amy and her fiancée after his failure to show at their party yesterday (which from what he heard had ended soon after his call to Rosie-Something which he felt intensely guilty about). Rosie had decided to tag along as well, doing anything to get out of her shifts as a barista-she’d trained to work in television but had yet to have any success in the business, so in the meantime she was bouncing between job interviews; getting sick of hit on by gross guys in her coffee shop.

They wasted no time with texts when they came in to see Brian, the pair of them coming straight through to the ward. Amy had obviously braced herself beforehand; Jimmy knew that Dave had called her earlier to warn her. She stood and stared at her younger brother before going over to Jimmy and hugging him, “How’re you doing?” She asked him quietly, pulling back and tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

“I um, I’m okay.” He told her mutely, eyeing Rosie who was frozen, her eyes glistening with tears. Rosie and Brian got on the worst out of the four siblings, which was no secret to anyone. The pair was constantly bickering about something. That was probably why it came as such a shock to Jimmy to see how openly devastated she was. She sniffled, slowly going and sitting opposite Jimmy and Amy, threading her hand through Brian’s being careful not to dislodge the wires. She ducked her head slightly letting her curls conceal her face.

Amy sighed, going over to Rosie and cuddling her tightly. Jimmy had always admired the way that Amy was able to pull herself through trauma, he figured it must come from her decisive nature and ability to simply _get on_ with life. Unlike anyone else he knew, bad things didn’t dampener her spirit, and this was something he knew would be useful now.

She rubbed her sisters arm gently, letting Rosie cry softly into her shoulder, “Hey Rose...It’s okay. He’ll be okay.” She told her gently, the belief in what she was saying was undeniable.

“Yeah he will.” Jimmy chimed in, Amy’s belief giving him hope that _maybe just maybe_ everything would be okay.

** Day 7: 21st November **

Jimmy let himself back into the house, having been kicked out the hospital by the nurses. It had been a week since the crash, a week since his life was torn apart. He’d visited Brian everyday for as long as he could, Brian’s family, Bev and other friends had also visited (Rosie had eventually come to terms with the accident through Amy’s comfort). All of them had tried to convince Jimmy to spend less time with Brian, that maybe it would help him get through it. Jimmy refused.  He couldn’t bear to leave Brian by himself.

 He’d finally got rid of all his stitches and his bruises were finally beginning to fade into a yellowish colour. He’d manage to get away with only a couple of smaller scars on his face. Brian however wasn’t healing up as well, the doctor’s had told Jimmy this was normal seeing as his system would be working at a far slower rate in his comatose state. This was of little comfort to Jimmy though seeing as he just wanted Brian to _be okay._

They’d also told Jimmy that it would get easier to adjust to life without his husband as the weeks went on.

Jimmy could confirm that they were _very_ wrong.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Abster](http://willgrahamed.tumblr.com/) supplied the motivation. [Spally](http://penfoldismrshrink.tumblr.com/) supplied the tree fact. This chapter is surprisingly upbeat, enjoy!

**Day 18: 2 nd December**

Bev leaned on the trolley, pushing it down the aisle with her hips as her and Jimmy tried to work out what the _hell_ Jack had meant by ‘party food’.

“Why do we need to do this anyway? It’s _his_ party.” Bev grumbled, tossing half a shelves worth of crisps into the trolley.

Jimmy shrugged, he’d almost fully recovered, it was just his wrist which was still broken, “He’s probably too busy sucking up to Graham to actually prepare for anything else.” Jimmy said bitterly. He and Brian had always found Will Graham horrific to work with, they way he pranced in with this stupid empathy disorder and constantly stole the limelight was infuriating.

“He’s not _that_ bad.” Bev berated him, throwing more food which looked fancy into the trolley.

“He’s pretty bad,” Jimmy muttered before noticing what Bev had placed amongst the food, “Why have you got gherkins?” He asked puzzled.

Bev stared at him like he was talking a foreign language, “Why _wouldn’t_ I have got gherkins?”

“Because they’re disgusting. The only good gherkin is the one by Fosters and Partners.” He said, reaching to take them out.

She batted his hand away, “You’re leaving them in.”

“I’m not.”

“Brian would let me leave them in.” She retorted without thinking about it.

“Yeah well Brian’s not here.” Jimmy replied playfully, suddenly freezing when the weight of his words hit him.

They’d slipped out so easily, it was often a phrase Jimmy would use against Bev when they bickered without Brian around. Now it wasn’t as funny. He felt Bev’s arm around him, squeezing him gently.

“I’ll um. I’ll take out the gherkins.” She said quietly.

Jimmy shook his head, trying to pull himself together, “No leave them, you’re right...Bri would’ve let you have them.” In fact Brain would have encouraged Bev to get as much weird food as they good as revenge for Jack making them do the mundane task. With this in mind, the pair of them filled the trolley to the top with weird looking ‘fancy food’, paying smugly with the money Jack had handed to them earlier that day.

*****

They’d found themselves a nice corner at the party, and sat with a third bottle of red wine that came recommended by Hannibal himself.

“Well you know,” Jimmy said, putting on his infamous camp stance which only ever came out when he was drunk (or when Brian was in a bad mood),”Hannibal _Lecter_ recommended this wine. So you really _must_ have another glass Beverly.” He told her, completing the look with an all-too-stereotypical hand flick.

Bev giggled and hiccupped, “Be careful...he might _eat_ you if you keep on making jokes like that.” It had been a running joke since they’d starting working with Lecter that he might have been a cannibal-both Bev and Jimmy finding it hilarious that his name rhymed with cannibal.

“No he’s too busy eating Will to find anyone else’s meat interesting.” Jimmy declared, winking at Bev before both of them eyed Lecter and Graham from across the room. Hannibal whispered something in Will’s ear at that exact moment causing both of them to crack up with laughter, Bev snorting so hard she nearly fell off her chair.

Jack strode over to them, “What the _hell_ are you two doing?!” He asked, as the pair tried to recovered themselves.

Bev beckoned him close, “If you look _really_ carefully at Will and Hannibal you can almost see the sexual tension,” She giggled, “Would you like some wine Detective Crawford? Dr Lecter recommended it _especially_.” She passed him the wine and he looked at her with distaste.

“I think you two have had plenty enough for today.” He told them sternly, taking the bottle off Beverly.

“Nooo, don’t take our wine away Jack.” Jimmy frowned, staring at him with what he thought was puppy eyes but in reality was simply an almost creepy wide-eyed stare.

Jack just rolled his eyes and put the bottle back on the bar, before walking back to his wife. He let the pair off the hook, he himself was struggling without Brian around. He missed having someone to aim his insults at; he felt bad nowadays if he threw them at Bev or Jimmy.

“You know Pricey,” Bev sounded as if she was going to come out with something deeply philosophical as she poured herself out another glass of wine, “I feel like we get ignored by some people. Like we are merely minor characters in the show of life. Like...It’s like we’re tree number three in a school play.” She nodded wisely, smugly sipping at her wine as if she were the cleverest person in the room (and even in her drunken state she wasn’t far off).

Jimmy pointed, “You’re _absolutely right_ Bev. But, we should act like big trees if we are. Like the metasee...the meta see coya gly,” He took a deep breath, “The Metasyquoia Glyptostroboides.” He slurred, the elegance of the Latin failing to come through as he stumbled over the words.

“The what?” Bev asked, holding back laughter as she tried to look interested in the fact Jimmy was trying to tell her.

Jimmy sighed, “The Dawn Red-wood. It’s a big Chinese tree _god_ Bev.” He told her frustrated.

“Sorry you..you en-price-lopaedia.” Bev cackled to herself, proud of her pun.

Jimmy joined in with her cackling as they saw Hannibal approaching. He sat himself up, “Shhhhhh Beverly. We must be composed. _You can’t be rude in front of Lecter.”_ They both kept their straight faces for around 0.5 seconds before bursting back into laughter.

Hannibal gave them a small smile as he joined them, “I trust you are enjoying the wine.”

“We _are,_ ” Bev told him, “It is simply delightful. Isn’t it Jim.”

Jimmy made a noise of agreement, “Delicious thank you.” He said, not that he could taste the wine anymore. He’d passed that stage of drunkenness around an hour ago.

“Good. I am glad.”

“One question. How’s Will doing?” Jimmy asked, obviously suppressing laughter.

Hannibal just looked confused, “Will is doing well thank you. I shall leave you to your...Conversation.” He glided away, the pair could see him shake his head as he walked back to his ‘boyfriend’.

Jimmy snorted, “Only doing well because you’re boning him over the chaise long.”

Bev chuckled again, “I think...I think we should go soon. People are starting to find the _weird_ food we bought.” She pointed towards a woman who was examining what they assumed was some sort of samosa but weren't really sure.

Jimmy nodded, accepting but not quite understanding the urgency behind Bev’s tone. The small sober part of him knew that if Jack found out what they’d done, the pair of them would owe him night shifts for weeks. Nonetheless he still stumbled up off his chair, “That’s a good idea. I have beers in the fridge. And DVDs...I can’t remember about what...But I have DVDs.” He offered his arm out to her.

She took it, grateful to have another person to lean on so the pair of them could attempt to walk gracefully out the building, “Sounds wonderful Jimothy.”

“Let’s go Beverly.” He grinned drunkenly at his friend.

They barely made it across the room without falling over, and fifteen minutes later had clambered into a cab and were on the way back to Jimmy’s.

** Day 19: 3rd December **

Jimmy woke up to the smell of bacon sizzling. His head rung as he stumbled through to the kitchen to find Bev cooking.

“You’re a fucking lifesaver.” He told her, gingerly reaching for the painkillers.

“I know.” Bev smiled. She had the irritating ability to shake off hangovers incredibly quickly, something which Jimmy had forever envied her for.

“Um...Can you remember what happened last night? I vaguely remember making Hannibal uncomfortable.” Jimmy asked, he had a cloudy memory of Lecter giving them copious bottles of wine and neither of them supplying an adequate thank you.

Bev shrugged, “I think _I_ told Jack he was sleeping with Will. So you’ll be fine.” She smiled, recalling Jack’s face when she’d spoken about the sexual tension between their colleagues.

Jimmy laughed, “Very true.” He leaned against the counter, and as he laughed with his friend he felt that maybe everything would get better from now on.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I make the same acknowledgements everytime omg so thank you [Abbi](http://willgrahamed.tumblr.com/) and [Spall](http://penfoldismrshrink.tumblr.com/) here have another promo because you make my writing better.

** Day 41: 25th December **

He’d barely been at his brother’s house for five minutes and already Jimmy wanted to punch Danny in the face. He was sat in the corner of the lounge as their mother handed out the presents, Danny’s nightmarish teenagers unsurprisingly refused to do ‘such a childish job’. Usually Christmas wasn’t this unbearable; then again usually he’d be able to sit with Brian who would be whispering witty insults in his ear every five minutes.

“Here’s yours Jim, from Danny.” His mother handed him a small present, poorly wrapped (as Danny’s always were) and rather heavy. To Jimmy’s complete lack of surprise he found a book. A book which was possibly one of the most infuriating books he’d ever received in his life.

**“ _Day Bang: How To Casually Pick Up Girls During The Day”_**

He stared at it, feeling both disgusted and angered by the present his brother had bought him. This was concentrated when he heard his twin crack up in front of him.

“C’mon Jim. It’s funny!” Danny cackled, reaching forward and patting his brother on the shoulder.

Jimmy forced a smile, deciding that he’d burn the book when he was home, “Incredibly.” He replied, his voice rife with sarcasm that no one seemed to notice, he gave a half-hearted laugh, regretting the amount of effort he’d put into his brother’s present of a clock.

The rest of the hour was tedious; Jimmy quietly fumed in his corner, itching to get out as soon as he could. Danny has continually been encouraging him to ‘take a look at his book’ and Jimmy had been politely refusing, knowing that if he dared looked inside the book he’d either burst into tears or tear his brother’s face off-and of course is would be _awful_ if Jimmy ruined _precious_ Danny’s Christmas.

When his brother hinted for the sixth time that he should try and enjoy his present Jimmy cracked, “Right well, I’m going to get going. I’ve got to get to Brian’s parents for dinner.” He said, deciding he’d drive slowly to the Zeller’s, sure they wouldn’t mind if he was a bit early.

“Do you have to go?” His mother asked him, seeming like she genuinely cared about the departure of her son.

Jimmy nodded, “Yes sorry mom.” He told her, hugging her before grabbing his jacket.

“Bye Jim!” Danny waved cheerily, his kids grunting afterwards. He rushed out the door, breathing a sigh of relief once out. He hated his _stupid perfect_ brother who thought he was so _fucking funny_. He threw his present angrily into the boot of the car, still feeling incredibly insulted. He was so _pissed_ that Danny had bought him such an awful present. Not only was it confirmation that he still didn’t ‘agree’ with Jimmy’s sexuality (something which he’d got over a long time ago) but it was also a stabbing reminder to Jimmy that he didn’t have his husband with him, and didn’t know when he would again.

Climbing into the car he stared at the glove box, deciding he needed different music to his usual to calm down. He hunted around inside it, finding Brian’s prized Arctic Monkey’s CD, picking it up and contemplating it for a moment before shoving the CD in. He started to drive as the guitar riff filled the car. He’d always disliked the stupid band but he found comfort in having Brian’s favourite song play around him, pushing him into a slightly better mood as he drove to the Zellers.

*****

The Zellers and Jimmy sat round the dinner table, all full from their delicious meal that had been cooked by Beth. There had been an uncomfortable undertone to the day; a small pile of presents had been left under the tree that were obviously for Brian. No one had mentioned this.

Carlie kicked Jim under the table, “Chin up buttercup. It’s Christmas, stop being a mopey shit.”

“Language Carlie!” Beth berated her gently, causing the entire table to chuckle. It wasn’t a secret to anyone in the Zeller family how much of a sailor’s mouth their youngest had. Dave started to clear the table, turning down Jimmy’s offer of help so the family began to disperse, Carlie catching up with Jimmy as he followed Amy down the hall to the lounge.

“Hey,” She elbowed him gently, “I miss him too Jim. But, he’d have wanted us to be happy today. You know how much he loves Christmas.”

Jimmy sighed, “Yeah I know.”

“Besides 34 million trees get cut down for this day every year, may as well enjoy it in their honour.” Carlie told him, smiling proudly at her fact as they walked into the lounge.

“You’re such a fucking dork.” Rosie told her.

“No I’m clever, unlike you.” Carlie stuck her tongue out, going and snuggling up to her sister, distaste apparent in Rosie’s face.

“That’s fine. I don’t have to be clever, I’m the pretty sister with the cool hair.” She retorted. Rosie had embraced her curls since the accident, now wearing it naturally more often, the curls cascading down her back rather than having them straightened all the time.

Amy laughed, “No I’m the pretty, talented _and_ clever sister. I got first pick of the family genetics and got all the best ones before you lot got there.” She grinned smugly, “I need to call Katy and find out when she’s getting here. Jimmy I’m trusting you won’t let them tear each other’s throats out whilst I’m gone.” She patted his head before leaving the room to call her fiancée.

“You know out of all of us, I’d say Brian one the genetic lottery,” Rosie commented, “I mean for starters _he’s a guy_.”

“He’s also really cute.” Jimmy inputted, he’d barely spoken about Brian properly since the crash, and found it nice to be able to talk about his husband without having to refer to his current state.

“Nah see, your opinion doesn’t count here. You’re biased,” Carlie told him, interrupting him as he tried to defend himself, “Nope. Don’t even try, you married him therefore you’re going to say nice things.”

Jimmy conceded, deciding he’d watch the sisters argue instead.

Later that day, the family were sat around watching a terrible Christmas film-a Christmas tradition of the Zellers. Rosie leaned her head on Jimmy’s shoulder and was dozing, whilst Amy had rested her feet on his lap. This was also a tradition, the sisters using Jimmy as a cushion rather than the real cushions that were just beside them.

“I should’ve bought you two a sofa for Christmas. Then you’d stop using me.” Jimmy laughed, nudging Rosie’s head lightly.

“Shhh Jim, I’m trying to sleep.” She muttered, curling into Jimmy. It hit Jimmy just how similar Rosie was to Brian, as he glanced down and saw the brunette curls nestled on his shoulder he swallowed hard; the familiar feeling burned a hole in his stomach. He decided he needed to visit Brian; he’d been toying with the idea all day. But he needed to talk to him. And it needed to be now.

*********

 “Hey Bri.” Jimmy said quietly, placing the small wrapped box on the table next to his bed, “I um...I got you  present. It’s nothing big, you said...This year we weren’t gonna do big presents, back in September. So it’s um, It’s only small,” He took Brian’s hand gently, caressing it lightly with his thumb. He sat silently, words playing at his lips as he gazed at his husband.

“I-I love you Brian,” He told him, “And I miss you. So _so_ much. And I need you to wake up because I don’t know how much longer I can deal with this,”

“I-I need you Bri...I miss your laugh, I miss your smile...I miss your _eyes_. Everything’s so...so cold with you gone, the bed, the house, even Locard’s less energetic and you and I both thought that would be impossible,” He gave a weak laugh thinking about their pet dog, remembering the days where he’d come home to find the pair of them playing on the floor, “Everything’s so _empty_ without you. Even _Will’s_ mentioned how different it is in the lab. And it is Brian!” His voice cracked, “It’s awful.”

He paused for a minute, steadying himself, willing himself to carry on, “I saw your family today. And I um, I know you’ve always felt like you were second best to your sisters but you’re _not_. You should see them, they’re...they’re _heartbroken_ Bri. All of them. You mean so much to them and you don’t even realise. And my family was unbearable. As per usual. But it’s so much _harder_ without you there _Christ Bri_.” He shook slightly, feeling a cry of anguish building up in his chest as he tried to push it down. He needed to finish what he had to say.

 “I’m sorry,” Jimmy said tearing up, “I-I shouldn’t have driven as fast, I should have fucking swerved when you told you me too. I kinda, I kinda hope you don’t remember the crash. As memories go it’s not a nice one,” The memories flooded back to him and he shuddered, guilt encompassed him as he continued, “I’m so sorry Brian. So so sorry I got you into this mess and all I ask is that you wake up soon, I need you...Please wake up soon Bri.” He pressed his lips to Brian’s knuckles.

“Please.”


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i've only sort of edited this so i hope it read alright oh god. i also promised [ Jim ](http://tallmansramblings.tumblr.com/%22) a mention. enjoy!

** Day 70: 23rd January **

Jack sat across from Bev and Jimmy, curling his fingers over each other as he gave them a hard stare. They could tell the news he was about to deliver wouldn’t be good.

“I’ve had to hire a new team mate. I c-can’t wait for Brian anymore, your backlog of paper work is too big and I _know_ it’s not just down to your hatred of doing it,” Jack took a breath, not meeting either of his employees eyes as he continued, “Of course if-when Brian wakes up, he’ll have his job back. But right now we need three on the team.”

Jimmy sat silently, letting the words wash over him. If anything it surprised him that Jack had left it so long to find a replacement for Brian, but the reality of his husband effectively losing his job due to the crash hit him like a brick.

Bev nodded, “Okay. Who are they and when do they start?” She asked seriously, placing her hand on Jimmy’s arm and squeezing it tightly, understanding that he would need a few minutes to get his head around the fact they had a new recruit.

“Cosima Cormier. She starts tomorrow,” Jack replied, pushing the file towards her, “She’s good.”

Bev flicked through it, scanning for any interesting details, “She’s young?”

“She’s proved herself though, she worked on some illegal cloning case, managed to single-handedly work out the code they’d used and catch them.” There was a faint admiration in Jack’s voice, both Bev and Jimmy knew that this meant he’d found a spectacular new recruit.

Jimmy took the file off Bev, glancing over it, Bev was right. She was young. However he trusted Jack’s judgement, knowing that if he picked this Cosima girl to be on their team, that she’d do a good job. “She looks good.” Jimmy gave Jack a small smile, as if to reassure him that he wasn’t going to resent the new employee just because she took Brian’s place.

“She should be. So I need you guys to make sure that the place is devoid of body parts tomorrow. And that she has a clear desk. And that you’re both on time.” Jack instructed them, before getting up and holding the door open for the pair of them, “Be nice. Apparently she’s very shy.”

Jack couldn’t have been more wrong.

** Day 71: 24th January **

Jimmy and Bev had got to work early that day in order to make sure the place was tidy. They’d almost finished reordering their papers when the new girl came through. The most noticeable thing about Cosima was her dreadlocks, combined with her glasses she looked incredibly “geek chic”. She smiled at the pair of them at the door, “Hey! Jack told me I’d be in here with you guys?”

“You must be Cosima?” Bev asked, nodding, “Yeah I’m Bev, and that’s Jimmy.”

“Hello!” Jimmy waved cheerily at her, stacking a load of vaguely organised papers on the floor and steadied the pile, praying it wouldn’t fall over.

“So err, yeah that’s about it really. Your desk is over there.” Bev pointed to the desk which had been Brian’s, now completely clear for Cosima other than a single box of the possessions and a photo frame. Bev and Jimmy never had the heart to remove Brian’s things completely, wanting him to get back to working with them as quickly as he could.

“Sorry I’ll just move Bri’s stuff.” Jimmy bustled over, stepping carefully over the precariously stacked pile of papers that littered the room, and quickly hauled the box off the desk, hopping back to his own desk, pushing the box under the chair.

Cosima dumped her bag in her new space, and began to get out her laptop and various other folders which looked just as disorganised as Bev and Jimmy’s, “Thanks guys.” She picked up the frame that had been left at it and smiled down at it. Inside was a selfie of Brian, Bev and Jimmy from a drunken night out, taken a few weeks before the crash. “Hey um, I think this is Brian’s too,” She skipped over and handed it to Jimmy, “It’s cute.” She smiled brightly at him.

Jimmy smiled down at the photo before putting it in the box, “Thanks. So er, we’re not actually on a case right now. But if you want to help sort papers than that’d be great.” He gestured to the pile he’d nearly knocked over before.

Cosima laughed, “Course. Where do I start?” She looked around the office, it was littered with piles of paper and folders.

“Anywhere, just make sure the dates are in the right place or Jack will make you the next vic we examine.” Bev grinned, receiving a chuckle from both her colleagues.

They found that Cosima fitted in well with the team-she even managed to make Jack laugh on her second day. She was charming and witty, and that went down fantastically with the rest of them.

** Day 74: 27th January **

Beverly placed a drink in front of Cosima at the bar. It was a translucent red, and looked suspiciously like—

“Blood of our latest victim,” She said casually, “If you can identify the ingredients you’re officially initiated into the team,” She smiled, pushing forward another tray of shots, “Each time you’re wrong you take a shot.”

Cosima stared blankly at Bev, “What?”

Jimmy laughed, “It’s her way of welcoming you to the clan.  I had to do it when I joined, and presumably Brian had to do it too?”

“Of course. He was _awful_ we got through a tray and a half of shots.” Bev chuckled, remembering having to carry Brian home that night, after the horrific day of work she’d had with him afterwards-Brian was renowned to be almost as bad as Jimmy when he felt unwell

“I got though about three quarters of a tray. The trick is to not try and be too clever about it.” Jimmy told her, swigging at his beer-looking forward to watching somebody else try attempt the challenge.

Cosima nodded, a determined glint in her eye as she replied, “You’re on. I won’t even need half the tray.” She grinned, taking a swig of the concoction, her face contorting to disgust as it hit her taste buds.

*****

Quarter of a tray in and Cosima had already guessed eight out of the ten ingredients in the cocktail, and was nowhere near as drunk as Bev and Jimmy had wished her to be.

“Food colouring. Red food colouring.” Cosima told them.

Bev sighed, “You’re right...again! How are you doing this?” She told her with faint disbelief, her favourite thing about initiation was being able to watch people get it incredibly wrong, she wasn’t used to having people guess correctly quickly.

Cosima chuckled, “I just know my cocktails,” She winked at Bev, “Alright. By my reckoning I’ve got one ingredient left. If I get it right, two shots for the pair of you each.”

Jimmy laughed, “You won’t get it that quick. I can guarantee it.” He remembered on his initiation he’d been around half a tray in when he reached the last ingredient, and had used up another quarter of a tray trying to guess the last one.

“Try me.” She grinned at the pair of them, the alcohol making her vision hazy as she raised the glass to her mouth, smelling it again before taking a large gulp.

Beverly and Jimmy ended up having to do three shots in the end-two for Cosima guessing the last ingredient just three guesses after the previous one, and another for “being too cynical about her abilities” as she had put it. Now the three of them stumbled out the bar, Bev and Jimmy promising to walk Cosima home.

“So...What’s the deal with this Brian guy?” She asked, her arm looped through Bev’s, “Seems like he’s important?”

“He is,” Jimmy piped up, the girls had dominated the conversation so he’d been fairly quiet, “He’s my husband.”

“Ah cute. Where’s he working now then?” She asked innocently, hauling Bev back up as she tripped on a paving stone.

Jimmy faltered, “He um. He’s not,” He paused, taking a breath in and trying to fight through the drunken fuzz which clouded his brain, “We got into an accident a few months ago. He’s in a coma.”

“Oh.” Cosima replied, her good mood suddenly drawing to a halt.

Bev interrupted what Jimmy was about to say, fearing he’d regret telling Cosima whatever it was in the, “Cos where were you again? I can’t remember...”

“The next place,” She pointed at it, “Thanks for walking me home.” She mumbled, her words slurring slightly as she reached into her bag to find her keys.

“No problem.” Beverly smiled, trying to stand up straight now her support had moved away from her.

Cosima bounced forwards and hugged Jimmy, “I hope your husband wakes up soon.” She bopped his nose with her finger before hugging Bev, and wishing the pair of them goodnight.

Once they’d watched Cosima into her house, Bev slung her arm around Jim and pulled on his shoulder, “C’mon. We’ll go back to yours and make sure Locard’s not chewed up anything.” She said gently, even through her drunkenness she could tell that what Cosima had said had bought him down from his drunken euphoria.

After a few minutes, Bev’s voice filled the silence again, “I miss him too Jim.”

Jimmy swallowed his words, worried he’d say something stupid, “I know.” He replied.

“It’ll be okay though. One day.” She squeezed him tightly.

He simply made a small noise, his drunkenness making him unable to say anything coherent. He wasn’t sure he wanted to speak anyway. All he’d talk about was Brian, and talking about Brian _hurt_.

** Day 132: 15th March **

“Happy Birthday Bri,” Jimmy murmured, leaving a small present on the table, next to the still unopened Christmas present he’d bought him, “Hopefully you’ll be up soon to open it.” He pressed his lips to his husband’s forehead. It had been six months since the crash, almost to the day, and although Jimmy had hoped it would get easier, it just _hadn’t_.

Brian’s birthday was always one of Jimmy’s favourite days of the year, they’d always eat cake at work and then go out drinking later in the evening-Brian always ended his birthday wasted and unable to remember what had happened the next morning. Jimmy had been reliably informed on the first birthday Brian had with him that it was an annual spectacle.

The small, cynical part of Jimmy could at least see the irony in Brian ending yet another birthday unconscious, but at least it kept up with tradition.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Abbi](http://willgrahamed.tumblr.com/) is amazing, [Abbi](http://willgrahamed.tumblr.com/) deserves all the credit for making sure i posted this chapter.

** Day 182: 4th May **

Jimmy stared at the photograph on the mantelpiece, his heart sinking as he remembered when it had been taken. It was a photo of Jimmy and Brian on their wedding day, not one of the professional ones they’d had done, but a selfie Brian had insisted they take in order to ‘truly catch the moment’. The photo had been taken exactly two years ago. He’d been to see Brian that morning, and had spent a good hour sat wittering to his husband about how fantastic he was, how much he loved him, and it had left him feeling depressed now. He picked up the photo and held it tightly. It had slowly been getting more difficult to cling to what he had left of Brian. There had been no change in his condition, and from what the doctors were saying it wasn’t likely he’d wake up soon.

The doorbell rang and he slumped up opening the door to find Cosima stood there, a bottle of red wine in hand, “Bev told me why you got the day off. I figured seeing as its Star Wars day a marathon was in order. Drinking game included.” She told him, her face softening when she saw the frame in his hand.

Jimmy looked bewildered at her, “Well err. Come in then.” He stood aside from the door and Cosima entered, continuing to blabber on about how her box set edition had a bunch of special features-in truth Jimmy had the exact same set in his DVD collection, but decided he wouldn’t tell her. He placed the key on the mantelpiece next to the honeycomb key holder.

*****

They were onto _VI: return of the Jedi_ (both Jimmy and Cosima had agreed that they needed to be wasted by the time they reached the prequels, therefore had started with the original trilogy, when Cosima slumped her head onto Jimmy’s shoulder.

“Sup Cos?” He slurred-they were both incredibly drunk; Jimmy had tried to explain how much money George Lucas had made from the films around twenty minutes earlier and had failed triumphantly.

“We should totally go adventuring. When this one’s finished,” She hiccupped, “We could go and get Bev. It’d be _really_ fun.”

Jim giggled, “That’s a good idea. Wait I’ll call her.” He grabbed his phone clumsily, glad he had his colleagues number on speed dial or he’d have never found it.

“And how drunk are you and Cosima?” The exasperation was dominant in Bev’s tone; as if she’d been expecting the call.

“Enough to want to see your stupid face.” Jimmy grinned, Cosima attempting to high five him but missing, smacking him in the face by accident.

The pair cracked up as Beverly replied, “Okay Jim. Well, I’m busy right now, so I’ll catch up with you at work on Monday. Now stop rabbiting on at me and get back to entertaining Cosima. Go out for a walk or something okay?” She instructed, having been the only one at work that day she was exhausted, and as much as she adored her friend, she just wanted to sleep.

“ _Fine,”_ Jimmy huffed, “But you’re _boring_!” He blew a raspberry down the phone before hanging up, giggling to himself again.

“Wha-going on?” Cosima asked, her voice slurring as she slumped down the sofa futher.

Jimmy launched off the sofa, stumbling slightly as he pointed to the door, “We’re going to go on an adventure. May the fourth be with us.”

The pair would forever wonder how they made it out the door that evening, let alone get back in later that night.

** Day 183: 5th May **

Jim woke up in the morning, his head thumping as he hauled himself out of bed. He stood, pulling on a t-shirt, trying to remember what had happened the night before-regretting the decision to take shots rather than swig whenever the rules applied to the film. He plodded downstairs and could hear the television on, deducing that Cosima must have slept on the sofa he went through and made them both coffees before walking through to the lounge.

In the centre of the lounge sat a small rabbit, nibbling on some lettuce in front of it. It glanced up at Jimmy as he walked in, gauging him as unthreatening before returning to its food. Jimmy stared at it dumbfounded, before turning his head to Cosima who seemed just as confused as he did.

“Cos...Why is there a rabbit in my lounge?” He stayed still, not wanting to scare the small creature; a small part of him worried as to where Locard was.

Cosima sighed, “I’ve been wondering that myself. But there’s rabbit food over there,” She pointed to the corner of the room where a large bag sat, “And it’s got loads of other stuff in it.”

“So...So we bought a rabbit.” Jimmy slowly walked over and sat opposite the animal; it froze and stared up at him a piece of lettuce hanging out its mouth.

“Seems like it,” Cosima spun quickly and kneeled, peering behind the sofa, “C’mon Loca buddy. It’s not gonna hurt you.” She told Locard who was cowering behind the sofa.

“Um. Cosima I don’t know what to do. Brian _hates_ rabbits.” Jimmy muttered off handedly, the story Brian had told him about a pet rabbit Rosie had when she was younger which did nothing but bite Brian whenever it could.

Cosima was too busy trying to fish Locard out from behind the couch to reply. In the meantime Jimmy petted the rabbit, it seemed friendly enough, it even shuffled towards Jimmy when it was comfortable.

“What the fuck are we gonna do Cosima?” He asked, as she carried Locard over to him, sitting him on her lap as they sat near the rabbit, Locard staring up at Jimmy as if to say “ _why the fuck have you bought home this thing.”_

“Give it a name.” She shrugged-She wanted to offer to keep the rabbit but her landlord didn’t allow pets; something she hated now.

 Jimmy glared at her, “If I name it I’ll have to keep it.”

** Day 205: 27th May **

Jimmy, Locard and the newly named Edward Henry sat on the sofa, Locard had finally got used to the rabbit and if anything they were slowly becoming friends. The house was now rabbit proof and Jimmy had the full story worked out for when Brian woke up-knowing he’d get a confused reaction to the fact that Jimmy had bought a rabbit.

_“Well you see the new girl Cosima decided to start a Star Wars drinking game and what was I going to do turn her down? Of course not. So you see that dear husband is why we have a rabbit. He doesn’t bite and Ed and Locard are friends so please let me keep him.”_ Jimmy went over his story once more in his head, rubbing Edward’s foot softly.

Rabbit’s feet are meant to be lucky after all.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the final chapter! big thanks to [spally](http://penfoldismrshrink.tumblr.com/) on this chapter who edited it all and supplied a few plots points

** Day 206: 28th May **

Jimmy sat at his desk, rolling his pen between his hands, incredibly bored of the paperwork he was filing through. He jumped when his phone buzzed next to him, he didn’t recognise the number so picked up, his tone wary, “Hello?”

“Mr Zeller-Price? I have good news.” It was the nurse who usually attended to Brian; Jimmy’s stomach did a somersault as he tried to force back the hope that was blinding him.

“Oh right?” He asked, sounding far calmer than he really was.

“Brian’s awake. He woke up around five minutes ago. If you would like to come to the hospital you will be able to see him very soon.” The nurse chirped, her usually clinical voice sounding genuinely pleased.

Jimmy froze, he passed through a number of emotions within a second; shock, incredulity; panic and finally settled on elation, “Oh my _god_. I’ll be there as soon as I can.” He grinned into the phone, and began to shuffle the papers together; Jack would have to fight him to make him stay at work today.

The nurse wished him a safe drive and hung up. Jimmy fluttered around the office and was just pulling on his jacket when Bev walked in with Cosima.

“Where are you going? It’s not lunch for an hour.” She asked confused.

Jimmy practically squealed with excitement, “Brian’s awake!” He beamed at her, the first genuine beam Bev had seen on his face in months.

“You go. I’ll tell Jack what’s happened,” She grinned back at him, “Go Pricey go!” She replied, pulling Cosima out of the doorway so as to let Jimmy through.

Jimmy ran from the lab, diving into his car, turning up the Arctic Monkeys CD that was in the car and driving as quickly as he could to the hospital; wanting to see his husband as soon as he could. He felt as if a huge weight was off his chest, sheer happiness encompassing as he breathed better than he had done for months. He sang loudly along with the song that played, nothing would be able to destroy his mood. Nothing at all.

*****

Brian stared at the nurse confused, “I’ve been what?” He couldn’t remember how he’d ended up in a hospital bed and felt like there was something else big he was forgetting. Somehow the thought that came to his mind was the amount of paperwork he’d have to do at work. He shuffled uncomfortably; his entire body ached from his lack of movement. He glanced round and saw a small pile of presents on the table beside him, he ran his hands through each other nervously, terror settling in his stomach as his confusion furthered.

“In a coma. For around seven months. However your vitals all seem okay, and there’s no sign of any underlying problems, so you should be able to go home soon. Your husband will arrive any minute now I’d imagine.” She smiled at him.

Brian froze, “...Husband?” He sounded shocked, the nurses’ brow furrowed in response.

“Yes...Jimmy Zeller-Price.”

Brian stared at the woman before him, “I have no idea who that is.”

*********

Jimmy rushed to Brian’s room, hardly hearing the nurse as he reached the door. He glanced through the window, his heart leaping with happiness as he saw Brian’s sat up against the bed. His excitement faded however when he took in the detail of Brian’s face, his cheeks were tearstained and he was staring hard at the wall ahead of him-a look Jimmy recognised as one Brian put on when he was anxious. Brian was about to glance over when Jimmy was ushered away from the window by a nurse.

“Mr Zeller-Price, I um,” The nurse mulled the words over in his head, “I have bad news.”

“What?” Jimmy’s face fell slightly. Brian was _awake_ , and he just wanted to _see him_ , he grumbled frustrated as the nurse walked him further away from the room.

“It seems that your husband has a severe case of isolated retrograde amnesia. We unfortunately cannot determine whether it will be fixable, however there are many therapies that we can give him in order to help revive some memories—“

Jimmy cut him off, panic rising in his chest, “But...But he can come home? Maybe not tonight but soon?”

The nurse frowned, “Unfortunately...Unfortunately, Brian is having trouble recalling several of the past years. It um, may be easier on him if you call a relative to see him first.”

It took Jimmy a moment to realise what he was saying, piecing together the words the nurse was struggling to say. He gasped, his stomach falling through his feet as he stared horrified at the man before him, “He doesn’t...He doesn’t remember me does he?”

“I’m so sorry Jimmy.”

Jimmy fell back, stumbling into a chair and he sat putting his head in his hands. His chest was no longer filled with panic, and was _empty_. He felt so _empty._ He wanted to run, but he couldn’t move; paralysed by the devastation he felt. He didn’t know how long he spent sat frozen, it felt like days. He eventually raised his head, tears tugging at the corners of his eyes as he glanced up at the nurse.

“Um. What do I need to do?” He asked, his voice small.

The nurse sat next to Jimmy, replying softly but firmly, “Best advice would be to call a relative, one of his sisters. Leave it to them to explain everything to him rather than us; it’ll be a bit less traumatising for him. As and when we can help you make arrangements for him,” He paused, “I can’t make any promises. But, I’ve seen a case like this before, it took a long time but eventually it worked out okay.”

The words had little effect on Jimmy, he thanked the nurse and walked out to go and call Carlie unable to hold back the tears soon after.

*****

Carlie sat cross-legged on the end of Brian’s bed, her hand resting on his ankles as she watched him try to articulate his confusion. Her brother was a mess-not as much as her brother-in-law who was now outside sobbing to Bev; she’d spoken to Jimmy briefly, but he’d practically forced her to go and see Brian.

“I’m so confused Carlie.” Brian whined softly, unable to meet her eye. He had a frustrating feeling that he was missing something. _Husband?_ He thought. _I’m not even in a relationship?_ He’d seen the back of a man’s head in the window when he’d been alone earlier, after the initial shock had died down and he’d managed to come to terms with the fact he was in hospital. _Was that him?_ He had so many questions, so much confusion clouding his brain as he stared down at his hands.

“I know Bri,” Carlie replied softly, “But it’ll be okay. I texted the others, they’re glad you’re awake,” A small smile lit her face, “Even Rose,” She paused, “I think you’re going to come and stay at mine tonight-or someone else’s if you’d prefer.”

“Yours would be great...Given I haven’t got an apartment anymore.” He frowned.

Carlie nodded, “Cool. I’ll get Bev to help me move some of your stuff later.” She said casually, freezing when she realised she wasn’t sure if her brother remembered Bev.

Brian’s eye lit up with recognition, “Bev’s still around?” He’d worked out he’d couldn’t recall much after around seven years before, only vague memories after that, based more around colours and emotions than place and events.

“Yeah course she is, you’re best friends.” Carlie smiled; glad to finally see a bit of relief on her brother’s face.

He smiled back at her, “Is she here?”

Carlie nodded, “Yeah she is, I’ll go grab her hold up.” She jumped up, pressing a kiss to her big brothers head-before sliding out the room.

In the corridor sat Jimmy and Bev, Jimmy had his head resting on Bev’s shoulder and was still sniffling; he covered his face when he saw Carlie, shame snaking its way through his system. He felt awful, everyone who Brian remembered should be _happy_ to have him back. God Jimmy was happy that he was _alive_ , but deep in the depths of his brain was an unshakeable feeling of resentment; something which made his guilt worse.

“Hey, what were you after?” Bev asked gently, rubbing Jimmy’s arm softly.

“Can we borrow you for a second Bev?”

Jimmy glanced up from his hand, “He remembers Bev?” He asked, he hadn’t thought about Bev. He’d assumed that if he’d forgotten Jimmy he’d have forgotten Bev as well; it seemed it was Jimmy who had forgotten that the pair worked together for a few years before he even came into their lives.

Carlie nodded carefully, “He does.”

“Oh.” Jimmy’s heartbroken syllable echoed round the corridor, leaving the trio in an uncomfortable silence.

Before either Bev or Carlie could say anything, Jimmy was pacing down the corridor and out of the ward, the door swinging shut behind him.

“I-“ Carlie stuttered, unable to form a sentence.

Bev shook her head, “Leave him. He’ll come back in fifteen minutes, it’s probably best to give him some time to himself. I’ll go out and find him if he doesn’t come back soon okay?” She reassured her, standing and walking towards the door, the excitement at being able to talk to her best friend was nearly enough to dull the worry she felt for Jimmy, but not quite.

Brian beamed at her when she entered, “Bev!” He opened his arms and hugged her tightly. She hugged him back exuberantly, clutching his hand when she sat back down.

“How’re you feeling Zee?” She asked him, unable to pull the smile from her face as she spoke to him.

“I feel alright. I’m confused. But I think I’m okay.” He squeezed her hand tightly, glad that Beverly was still there.

Bev nodded, “Good...That’s, that’s fantastic Bri. I’m so glad you’re okay.” And she was, despite the awful sinking feeling she had in her stomach for Jimmy she was glad that Brian was awake and feeling okay.

*****

Jimmy hurtled out of the hospital, finding a spot outside in a corner. Rage blinded him, he felt irrationally angry about the fact that Brian seemed to remember everyone but him. _I’ve spent the last seven months going out of my fucking mind, and you don’t even fucking know who I am._ Before he knew what he was doing he slammed his fist into the wall. Once. Twice. A third time and Jimmy sunk down onto the floor, curling up into a ball ignoring the pain pulsing from his now bleeding knuckles.

He let out an estranged whine, that resonated deep within his diaphragm, his anger swiftly turning to guilt. It wasn’t _Brian’s_ fault, he had absolutely no right to be angry at him. Tears began to fall as he shook violently, panicking as he began to feel as if he were running out of breath.

_Do what Brian’s always told you to do. Deep breaths c’mon Price,_ he thought. This was the technique he’d used to try and calm himself down over the last few months.

Then it hit him. The thought which brought him down to earth, causing him to sob unashamedly into his knees, anguish taking over his body and he wailed, the thought running round his head again and again.

_Brian wouldn’t say anything now would he you dumb fuck._

_*****_

Later that day, Brian was allowed back to Carlie’s house under strict instructions from the hospital to call if there were any problems. The pair sat on the sofa and were waiting for Bev to arrive with Jimmy to drop off his stuff. Jimmy had been talked into coming by Bev who had made the point that they’d be working together so they may as well get the reintroduction done now. She’d also made it very clear to Carlie that they weren’t staying long.

“Do we _have_ to watch a documentary on bees Carl. They’re so _dull_.” Brian whined, bopping his sister with his foot.

She rolled her eyes, “Bees are fantastic. You’ll come to love them in time.” She teased, throwing a pillow at him playfully, relishing being able to mess around with her brother again.

The doorbell rang and both of them got up to greet their guests. Opening the door to find Bev stood with a small bag, Jimmy lugging a much larger, much heavier looking suitcase behind her.

Brian grinned when he saw Beverly, hugging her tightly. He then gave Jimmy a small, awkward smile, “Hi. You must be Jimmy.” He said, offering a hand out to the man.

Jimmy shook it firmly, trying not to tear up at the lack of emotion in Brian’s eyes, “Yeah. Hi. I um, I can’t stay long. I need to get back to feed the dog.” He ignored the glare Bev gave him, knowing that he’d barely be able to make it five minutes without becoming emotional. Seeing Brian so at ease with everyone but him was painful, the smile he’d given Bev as they’d walked in was one he’d usually receive too. But Brian’s smiles weren’t for him. Not anymore.

“Oh that’s a shame,” Brian said, the kind of polite phrase you say to someone who you don’t know very well, “I come back to work on Monday, it’s you and Cosima we work with now isn’t it?” He enquired.

Jimmy nodded tightly, “Yep.”

Bev intervened, tossing her car keys to Jim, “Here, drive back. I’ll get a cab back home later then pick up my car in the morning.” She pulled him into a tight hug, whispering in his ear, “Be safe. Call me if you need me.”

Carlie then gave him a similar message in her hug and finally Jimmy said goodbye to them all and left. His posture giving way to the depression he was sinking into.

Brian turned to the girls concerned, “Is he okay?”

“Err,” Bev hesitated, “He’ll be okay. He’s just tired. You’ll get used to Jim he’s a grumpy bastard.” She told him, a nervous laugh escaping her lips as she struggled to keep it together. It pained her to see Jimmy go through so much when she couldn’t help him, and it hurt to see Brian’s lack of interest in Jimmy. Jimmy and Brian’s relationship had been such an important one to her, she’d helped it come into being and was even best man at their wedding, to see the two apart due to Brian’s coma had been bad enough. Let alone Brian not knowing who Jimmy is at all.

The rest of the evening was spent under an uncomfortable atmosphere. Bev and Carlie were both feeling incredibly awkward as Brian chilled out so happily without Jimmy, exclaiming how happy he was to be back and that he was sorry he missed so much. For now Brian was happy not knowing what was going on with all the husband business, deciding he’d enjoy one night of happiness with his two closest friends before trying to divulge into the happenings of the past seven years.

*****

Jimmy returned home that night feeling exhausted, he went and curled up on the sofa, not wanting to move again. Locard sat with Edward Henry, just staring at his owner, detecting that something was wrong.

“S’okay Locard. I’ll be okay.” Jimmy said, before getting up off the sofa and going up to bed. The bottle of whiskey sat on the table from the night before was becoming too appealing for it to be healthy. Getting drunk off his face was one of the worst ideas Jimmy could think of.

After much tossing, sobbing and turning Jimmy drifted off to sleep, hoping his dreams would spare him of the horrifying reality he was facing.

And that was the end of Jimmy’s 206 days with Brian Zeller-Price, and the beginning of an eternity without him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so so sorry (there will probably be a sequel)


End file.
